Philadelphia is a stain, a bleeding sore, on the side of America. Once the proud capital of the rising settler-colonial empire, now out of it rises the decaying stench of the corpse of that empire, snitching to God to condemn the sins of the whole country. Philadelphia is known for its scenic mountains of trash. It is rumored to be the habitat of a mysterious beast known as the Trolley, though eye-witness sightings are rare. Worst of all, something about the chemical stew it emits somehow infuses the wretched cretins that stalk its narrow alleys with a twisted sense of loyalty and pride. It is infested with dangerous gangs of maniacs, drug users, sexual deviants and anarchists - in other words, it is home to the members of Dear Future Archaeologists and their friends.

See Also